We live in a society where a girl is often expected to accept whatever her family decides for her.
If her parents say, “You must marry him,” she is supposed to agree no questions asked.
One day, I asked my girlfriend, “What are the things you face being a girl in this society?”
She took a deep breath and said something that really made me think.
“I don’t feel free. I might look like an independent, working girl living in a city away from home but I’m not free. My father calls me every day and asks, ‘Have you left for the office?’ or ‘Are you at your room right now?’
For the world, I’m independent. But in reality, I still need permission for everything. My parents always ask, ‘Where are you?’ or ‘Why are you there?’ even though I’ve proved that I can manage my life on my own.”
She continued,
“My brother and I both live away from home, but my parents only question me not him. They don’t ask how I’m surviving here, whether I’m fine or not. They just want to know when I went to the office and when I came back.”
I asked her softly, “Don’t you feel they ask because they love you?”
She replied,
“Maybe they do. But love shouldn’t feel like control. I want to live like a normal citizen who can go anywhere without being judged or questioned.”
She told me that when she visits her hometown, her family always comes to pick her up from the bus stop not because they miss her, but because they believe she can’t come home alone.
Even in her own village, she’s not allowed to go to a shop by herself. Her younger brother either goes with her or buys the things for her.
“It doesn’t matter that he’s younger,” she said. “They just think I can’t protect myself.”
I asked her, “Do you think you can protect yourself?”
She smiled sadly and said,
“Why do we even need to ‘protect’? Why does the government say girls shouldn’t be outside after 9 PM? Why don’t they tell the boys to stay inside instead so that no girl has to feel unsafe? Whatever happens to a girl, it’s always because of a man’s action.”
And she was right.
I listened and realized she wasn’t asking for special treatment. She was just asking for equality.
Then I told her,
“It’s not that we think girls are weak. It’s just how society has shaped us. For thousands of years, men worked outside while women managed homes. It’s only been two decades since feminism truly began to rise. It’ll take time before everyone sees both genders the same way. We are a new generation, and we understand what’s right and wrong but our roots are still connected to the old mindset.”
She nodded and said,
“Yes, but how long do we wait? Maybe equality will come for the next generation, but what about us? We can’t even marry who we love. We have to sacrifice our choices for the sake of what others will say.”
That hit me deeply.
She said,
“If my brother falls in love, he can tell our parents and marry her. But if I fall in love, I’ll be told it’s wrong. Isn’t that unfair?”
She was right again.
If a man sleeps with multiple women, society calls him “a man.”
But if a woman does the same, she’s judged harshly.
We may have progressed, but society still carries old scars.
Her own brother, who’s in love, wants to marry his girlfriend yet he wouldn’t allow his sister to do the same. Because he knows the world.
A Thought to Reflect On:
> Imagine this scenario:
You are in love with a girl, and you talk to her every day. You dream of marrying her, and you know your family might support you because you’re a man.
Now, consider your sister. She’s in love too, and talks to someone she deeply cares about. But you stop her, telling her it’s not right. She can’t openly tell your parents about her relationship because she’s a girl, and societal expectations make it harder for her to express her wishes.
Have you ever asked your sister who she wants to marry? Have you tried to understand if the person she loves aligns with your family’s values, caste, or expectations?
If everything is in order and her happiness is at stake, would you allow her the same freedom that you seek for yourself?
I’m a grown man now, and I’ve realized something:
If my girlfriend smokes or drinks, it doesn’t bother me. She has every right to live her life the way she wants to.
If I can do those things, why can’t she?
She’s not less than me in any way and that’s how every man should see the women in his life.
Comments
Post a Comment